Stubborn – we may hear about it every day. Being stubborn can be bad, or worse, annoying to other people around you. There are many examples in our lives so I won’t list them here.
Being stubborn means refusing to comply, agree or give in, despite being hit by any pressure. Obstinate, yep, and normally we don’t like that. We may get some kinds of feeling like this: before you stands a kid, or an amateur person who doesn’t seem to understand thoroughly your proper advice, or to go against your absolute order despite any necessary force. Are you getting angry, and wanting to take over immediately? At the next instant, let me ask you this, are you maybe … being stubborn, too?
Of course, you may tell me that you know your ideas, solutions, or commands, are absolutely right and important to adapt. So … they ‘have to’ be done. And here you are, also stubborn. But you believe that this stubbornness is nothing compared to “that”, and it is good, too. Therefore, being stubborn can be ‘good’, right?
I want to talk about the good points of being stubborn. Because we need to think more positively, and sometimes, opposite to the common sense. And now, just consider that, what if the aforementioned person also thinks like you, that you’re too stubborn with your own thoughts? Although there are many cases we experience bad consequences that being obstinate could lead to, we still need to look into equality. Everyone has their own reason to do things, and their own way to solve things. That depends on how they see “their world”, and perceive it. Our mind controls our action, and gives our body the motivation to go forward. When we think about this, it will feel like, “Ah, no matter what, we should have a strong mind, and keep moving forward, despite any hardship” right?
Yes, in a positive meaning, being stubborn also means, being persistent and dogged. And that’s essential for anyone of us to get success in life. However, if it’s just being purely obstinate, and unyielding to change for the better, what then? How could we withstand something like that, and believe it’s some sort of a positive reaction?
No, we don’t have to do anything like withstanding. What I’m trying to tell you is to change our course of thinking. Before any stubborn acts, we are almost likely to hate them, and sometimes, want to break them. If we always keep thinking like that every time our kids, our friends, or our acquaintances refuse to give in to something supposed to be true or important, things will just get worse and worse, because our own ‘stubbornness’ is controling our mind. We ought to think that, being stubborn like them is necessary for their growth in their lives, no matter who they are, or which age they are in. That means they also have their own ideas which they wish to hold firmly. We just can’t force them to change as if they are all wrong, so rude.
Imagine this, everyone needs to experience failures to understand the meaning behind their actions, so anything we can do now is talk to them about our own ideas and explain politely why we think ours are better. Then we must listen to their own reasons to know exactly what the core of the problem is, and try to connect all aspects together. Just listen to me, we want them to yield, yet we still don’t yield to anything, so how can equality work here? Anyone has their own need of importance, and we must respect it, whether they are your kids, your friends, or just some strangers.
On the other hand, being stubborn to reach a set goal, is a crucial thing if you wish to succeed in your life. Sometimes you may need to think differently, even if it may cost you the price to turn against the common rules, to object to the opinions of your beloved ones, and to go through many, many hardships. Just to fight for what is yours, and what you believe in. The only thing you need to keep in mind is that, “just do it in a right way”.
If you understand all of this, what will you do before any stubbornness? Firstly, make sure you know clearly about the circumstances. Then think about your “partner” and your relationships to him/her, in order to use a suitable way to interact. Secondly, have a proper discussion with the person based on the seriousness of the problem. Consider the advantages and disadvantages, then try to find a way to somehow cover the merits of both sides; come on, you can do that, just put aside your ego and respect others’. Finally, last but not least, always remind yourself of the best results you wish to have and control your feelings.
Yes, anyone can be stubborn in their own ways. Just remember to “do it right”.