Unexpected Feeling

I may predict what is gonna happen, but I never know exactly what feeling I would get.

This morning, I woke up in my friend’s apartment, and then started a new day in class with him from the beginning. Today I met again the Teacher who used to teach us one of the hardest subjects in the third year, and luckily I did not come in late. Everything went on quite smoothly, and my feeling was more normal than what I had thought.

Yet, after class, I realized that this was gonna be tough also, and I had to stay focused like that once again, with the long-gone stress coming back soon. This year is coming to an end in just three more months, and I wish that this same day 3 months later will be a special event to truly enjoy for the first time in my life.

Because today I read a chapter in my beloved story while resting during the noon, and things happened during Christmas. How beautiful her birthday is.

It has been a long time, I don’t remember when, but I used to be struck a lot by some special feelings, along with some important people. Since then, I always prepare for anything to come, and try to enjoy doing everything I can face. Thinking back, if I didn’t have my own belief in the good fortune for the wars to come, then I would hardly remain here today.

However, what is gone may never perish.

I have almost never expressed those true feelings to anyone on this planet. Life is harsh, and you have to fight along with it most of the time. That’s true, but I won’t say that I accept that state forever. Sometimes, saying out your own honest feeling is the bravest thing to do. It could be embarrassing, yet it made you more alive than ever. If you don’t want to regret any dear thing to you, then even if you hesitate, please do not let it end with nothing. Your final choice at the deciding moment is what lets you grow up one more time, nevertheless.

No matter what it takes, I made a choice, to tell you the truth.

Just like what he did in the story, yet the two feelings were mutual. Truth be told, I was happy and somber at the same time. There was something watery in my eyes, and I knew that those moments have come back to me. Again, I have to grow up one more time, based on the decision I have made up in my mind just a few weeks ago. Even though they are just words in the first place, I will make them alive for sure. There may be no golden price for that, but I agree to take on even the iron price.

Snow and stars. Dreams and dust. 

Although this happening was totally unexpected today, and I also got the chance to know something more, it’s fine.


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