Convince oneself

I have to admit that, despite all advice being given out, I’ve almost never succeeded in convincing anyone to do the thing I feel necessary for them. For a long time, I did not know why; if it was just about knowledge and experiences then everything would be fine, but here I sensed something totally different.

Now, I have finally realized that: I did not convince them enough to make them convince themselves afterward. If so, then the fact that other people were to deny my whatever truth is a given.

If you want something from the other, you ought to give them that thing first. The same goes for any conversation, especially when you’re the one to give advice. Of course, we always need to ask this essential question first, Do they really need to hear our advice? 

Most of the time, I used to do that without even asking. I applied my truth into their stories without any permission from the owner. Moreover, I even asked them to do something I felt, could that be possibly allowed? Was I climbing too high, while I should just take my seat and merely listen first?

Okay, now to the next step. If they truly need my advice, what should I do? Telling and explaining in detail was already done, and shown to be such a failure many times. In spite of how much I understand that person, it doesn’t mean that I could prove that to them by my words only. If in the end, those words cannot turn into theirs somehow, all of my efforts become worthless. What matters here is not whether my reasoning was right or not, but instead, is whether I could make any thought of mine to be allowed to stay in their mind afterward.

It’s never been easy to convince oneself truly, and it will never be.

Since the beginning of the post, I have told that my wish would be to make them convince themselves again. At the end of the day, it’s all about that person’s own decision for his or her sake, not about whatever good advice that came before. There is nothing actually good or bad when it comes to belief. All you have to do is to let them see the honesty in your paying attention without asking much, then they will feel better to consider your words willingly.

Right now, I still am not fully confident in the way I gave advice to people around me. Simply, my method may not sound really logical to them, since everyone has his or her own kind of logic – originated from their belief. As long as you’re close enough to feel their belief or ideal in their everyday lives, then you will know what to say. It’s not a matter of proving what is wrong and what is right, but it’s a sincere connection between the two minds, and even more, the two souls.

Let them ask your words through souls.

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