Things have been strange recently, or maybe, they are just new waves to me, from both the outside and inside. I hardly sense anything clear about our neighbors in this place, as if they have been so fine that I need not pay attention as usual anymore. However, for some places far away, down to The Middle, I tend to think of them more.
As if, there is something special that makes my current mind not really here, but spread widely to the extent that I no longer acknowledge what is going on with reality. As if, it is searching for something initially, instead of being called to anywhere. Maybe, I am only wandering inside my own imaginary world after all, but the fact of nothing clear around here makes me wonder if I am being too far to reach my true self. Somehow, this explanation is still vague, but it fits the logic that I could not even sense my own self, not to mention the neighbors around me.
Right now, far away, there is a raging storm, called Damrey, currently neighbor to the South Central, about to bring forth heavy damage to one of the most important regions of the country. One more time, the endless story about loss and living continues to be written on, as if the history during this Peace era can be marked by the struggles with Mother Nature. People residing in the other half of the land will have to fight for their shelters and foods during the storm, while the climate in the North remains indifferent to any change, despite the fact that Winter is coming.
And here I am, knowing nothing about another coming storm, which will make its appearance very soon after this week. There is not much time to prepare right now, and while my imaginary partner has gone temporarily like this, I will hold my state as strong as possible until he comes back. It’s not like that I have any fanciful story waiting ahead, but I only acknowledge that the sharp price I have to pay has finally arrived. And I’m sure I will be standing still. In the end.
But it will hurt very much, and even when I can sense this clearly, which is strange enough to all other things which I cannot sense, I am still not moved at all. Is this status what you call “calmness before the storm” or something alike? Well, I would love to use those words if only I had the chance, but no. There is something already lost to me right now, while I’m still living in the same way like this. It has left me before I could sense the harsh winds upcoming as if things are too pressing to even stay for just a few more seconds. Nevertheless, now I have felt the storm centers, I know it must be fate.
For what it’s worth, I’m taking them head-on. And then I will tell you everything.