The lasting sunshine

I have never felt it clearly like that before. The sunshine that I have never had a single chance to see.

Once it starts, it will continue to shine forever. The only matter is whether I am willing to look for it and sense it with all my heart. If I secluded myself from others any longer, I would fail to get this very moment. One more week has reached its end, and now I am feeling much better.

Back then, just a few days, and a few weeks ago, many things around me are covered by only one color in my mind, black. I couldn’t feel anything clear about myself, and kept asking the same question again and again: What is exactly here with me? Am I with me?

I soon realized that I would never get the answer if I didn’t give myself one more chance, to spread its wing: I have to go out there one more time. To face the fear that always haunts my life. I made a choice, and I was determined to go through until the end of it.

And now, I am here, back to writing as usual. I have just come home for a few moments, and this calmness is surely rare.

Nevertheless, even surrounded by darkness, the sunlight always remains.

 

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