The remaining time until the end of this year is so limited to me. There are so many things to consider and many events to prepare a good mind for. Whether I have enough confidence or not, I still have to take on the challenges and clinch the main problems once and for all.
At this time of the year, right before December, every single aspect of my life as a senior student and a novice writer raises their flags at the same time. That takes me all the way to every nook and cranny in my brain, and uses up any sort of energy available. There is simply no mercy when it comes to an inner storm like that. And I always know what kind of fate is awaiting if I tend to give in any moment.
Now everything is here, and the final showdown will start very soon. In fact, there are already some silent moves from the blind spots where I could never see at all. I may get stroke at any time, so there is no point in expecting all the good in the end. Honestly, I can be sure at only one thing: I will survive, but with the sacrifice of many little darlings. And even a hardened belief.
Writing here will meet a hard time eventually, I know that. However, when I think of the reason why I started it a long time ago, I just don’t feel any restraint at all. Truthfully, we do have our unique way to prove who we really are, right? Some methods, such as mine, may be eccentric, but that helps me feel clearly the roles which I have set up for myself in life. At present, I don’t feel any cold, or any fear at all; it’s simply nothing. I just do what I think I have to do, and so I move. The story of blindly following after the selfish results is over already. Now is the time for what I truly deserve to obtain, and also what I only deserve to possess.
I hoped to write a short story today, but it has turned out not very well, ha ha. Fortunately, before the post is ended, I still have something to make up for that. Maybe someday I will write about him, one of my seniors, here. Today I have had a conversation with him, for the first time he called me and talked for that long, half an hour. We all work in the same major field, and I did have some good moments to smile and laugh. If I have anything left to say about it, then that is, this post would have been much harder to write if I did not have a moment to think positively like that. Though today’s post seems quite long and boring, ha ha.
Still, I get the chance to let my feelings out, so it’s better now. Fortunately, things are not so bad as I thought, at least I can still face the difficulties ahead after taking some notes about them. I will make sure to create some proper stories next time, so thank you for your word today.
Cheers, and enjoy the rest of the week, as Winter is coming 🙂